In Praise of Quesfirmations

“Every day, in every way, I am getting fatter and fatter . . . .” No, wait, that’s not right. Try again.

“I will live my convictions and honor my commitments, because, gosh darn it, I deserve to be convicted, and then committed . . . .” No, something’s off there, too.

I just can’t get these affirmations right. The only thing I have pasted onto my bathroom mirror is my reflection. (I should reflect on that.)

I’ve never been comfortable with the practice of repeating affirmative statements about myself, to myself. Telling myself about myself, over and over, seems to me somehow self-indulgent, presumptuous. And it makes me silly, too. When I stare at myself saying, “You are handsome, you are brilliant, you are a millionaire, you floss with amazing regularity . . .” another voice inside wants to say, “Excuse me, Miss Crabtree—are we gonna be tested on this?”

Maybe it’s because of this recalcitrant little flaw in my character: I don’t like being told what to do. Not even by me. It makes me want to argue. It doesn’t work.

But I’ve discovered what does: questions. I don’t like being told what to do, but I’m fine with being asked, “What do you want to do?” (Even by me.) Questions invite a response. Therefore, they also invite thought, which I think is generally a good thing to invite. The better the question, the better the thought in response.

A few months ago, while struggling one morning of a very busy day to prioritize my task list, an inspiring question just popped out: “What can I do TODAY to make the world a better place?” It stopped me in my task-list tracks. Led to all sorts of thoughtful thoughts-in-response. Now, I start every day with that question. My life literally hasn’t been the same since.

Here are a few other powerful quesfirmations I’ve learned: From John Fogg,

“What was the very best thing that happened for you today (this week, this month, etc.)?”

And from Brian Biro, “What’s my most powerful next step?”

An affirmation is the same statement every time you repeat it. I get bored. (But then, I always got bored with meditation and George Winston, too.) A quesfirmation invites a different response each and every time you ask it. Isn’t that amazing? Questions are powerful creative forces.

Buckminster Fuller once wrote a book entitled I Seem to Be a Verb. Nouns, explained Bucky, are things; verbs move. For me, I guess, affirmations are nouns. I seem to be a question.

This article is excerpted from The Zen of MLM; it originally appeared in the March 1994 edition of Upline.